Best Ex
by Remilyon
Summary: A look into Peyton and Brooke's Friendship
1. Peyton

The Best Ex

Disclaimer: I own Nothing. Not a dang thing which bites.

Warning: I'm a leyton fan so this is your warning. I'm trying not to focus on leyton because this is about Brooke and Peyton but it may still show.

Peyton

I talk in my sleep most people don't know that.

She was always there for me, always. No matter how hard I pushed Brooke Davis always came back. We were best friends. Were. That would be the key word, Hoes over bros didn't last. It only took one bro to break us. Lucas Scott. He came out of nowhere it seems and changed our lives; we let him change our lives and us. You see he was this amazingly true to self boy. When he entered our world, he brought out the best in so many people. He brought out the best in me, because of him I was willing to chance a real relationship. He brought out the best in my best friend Brooke Davis. But we brought out the worst in him. As surely as he changed us we changed him. We killed something in him the innocence that attracted us. And in the end we destroyed ourselves in killing that in him.

I'll never forget the night when things changed for me. I walked in to tell him I wanted all the same things, I was going to open up and let him in. He had already let her in. I could have stayed...I could have fought for him Brooke would have walked away I know she would have. But I felt like she deserved this, she was always there for me, shouldn't she have a guy like him. It hurt but I walked away that night. I swore to myself that I would never open myself up to a guy again. I was going to avoid them when they were together and it wouldn't hurt so much. I was amazed though remember when I said he brought out the best in us...Brooke became the girl that crawled into bed with me when my mom died. Brooke is a natural caregiver, I know most people don't see it in fact I was one of the few that knew the real B. Davis not the shallow party girl. I had seen less and less of that girl but Lucas brought her back not just for me but for all to see. It was like watching an old painting being restored, the layers of varnish being peeled off and seeing the priceless work of art the way it was meant to be. Brooke Davis is priceless. I was finally getting to see her happy and I was okay with that, with them. At least that's what I thought. It seems I was in the river of Denial. Once, that is all it took one slip up with Luke and I couldn't back off and go back to my river. Instead I betrayed the one person I swore I never would because she was my Best Friend. We met behind her back and every time I swore to myself it would be the last. Every time I swore that I wouldn't do this to her. I hurt the two people I love the most, it killed something in Lucas running between us, lying, sneaking and we knew we would get caught sooner or later. I hated looking at myself in the mirror but looking at her broke my heart she trusted us, she trusted me. And I broke her, I broke us. I was supposed to be her best friend and I hurt her.

Her face when she confronted me was a sight I never wanted to see. Knowing I put it there because of a boy, I love Lucas do not get me wrong, but try to imagine the worst you're friend has ever been hurt. Now, imagine you're the one that hurt her that way. I never hated myself more; I never thought I could hate myself this much. Her eyes God I was never suppose to put that look in her eyes. I was suppose to hurt the people that put that look there, I was suppose to stand in front of her when people hurt her like that, I hold her when she cried. And I couldn't because it was me, I was that person. And I know that it hurt her as much as it did, because it was me. If any other girl had done it she would be mad not hurt. She's hurt because it was me.

We found our way back to each other though, Brooke and me. She found a way in her heart to forgive me and I swore that I would never hurt her again. I made a promise to myself that she would be safe with me this time. I got involved with Jake, and she finally gave in and took Lucas back after a lot of drama. She was happy and I was happy for her. Things were good for the most part, she had some trust issues when it came to Lucas and I being friends but I convinced myself and her that's all we were. She was shining again.

Then it happened, the school shooting. I told myself it was just because I wanted to say goodbye, that it was an 'I love you as a friend'. I wanted something, anything to explain why I would say and do that to Lucas, to her. I threw myself into the finding something, someone to stand between me and those not so unspoken feelings. I even went after Jake. I didn't realize what I was doing though, I thought I was just trying to find the right one. Unfortunately as I said I talk in my sleep. Jake heard me. I can still hear him trying to tell me what I said, "You said I love you." I was trying to figure out why this was a bad thing. "I love you, Lucas." there it was the fucking elephant I was trying to get away from because I was not going to do that to Brooke again I wasn't. He convinced me to go back to Tree Hill, how I'll never know.

What comes next I know many people know about, but most don't know why I told her. I'll tell you why I broke my best friend's heart again that day rather than keeping silent. You see at first I wasn't going to say anything. I was going to pretend it wasn't there inside of me. It worked before why not again I could bury it after all I'm good at denial when it comes to emotions. Then I had that scene with Lucas and I kept hearing what Jake said. I couldn't pretend at least not to myself, I couldn't push it back down fast enough. I was starting to panic. Because the words that echoed in my head were not "You said I love you Lucas" no those were not what caused the bile to rise in my throat. It was the realization I was going to lose Brooke and in losing Brooke I would also lose Lucas, the two people I really depend on. I was going to lose the only two people that really understand and love me, because I couldn't hide it from her, I couldn't risk her finding out another way. You see Brooke Davis lived with me, in my room and I talk in my sleep.

I didn't want to feel this way about my best friend's boyfriend, but I did and I couldn't hide it from her. Some small part of me hoped that she would understand why I had to tell her, that I wasn't going after him, I didn't want to break them up. But I did. I broke her and him again and he didn't even know it was my fault. I tried to make it up to her. I tried to give him to her as a Birthday present but she never showed. She really hated me, when she didn't show up it sunk in...we had this tradition and if she had shown up at the mall I would have known that in some part of her we were okay. She didn't show and who could blame her I betrayed her. I could say that I betrayed her twice but that's not true I never stopped betraying her because I never stopped loving Lucas.

I looked forward to her mean and snide comments for the most part. Because it meant I still had a place in her. She took the time and energy to find me and be snarky. You see if Brooke Davis truly hates you and thinks you are pond scum she just won't notice you. I've seen her do it. Instead of becoming invisible to her I was her pet project. In her hurt she hurt me but I deserved it after what I did to her. It was sad though watching her slip into the party girl who didn't care phase again and this time I knew it was because of me. She was losing herself again and it was my fault.

We had our first real break through believe it or not because of Lucas the very thing that broke us would start the healing process. He said "Oh" the look on her face when I told her his response to my confession was priceless. She smiled and spoke to me, joked with me. We were on our way I just knew it. I had her back in my life. Then she broke me, I asked her if we could be friends again she said sure. But before is gone. We couldn't go back… I knew this but hearing her say it. Oh I broke. I cannot imagine my life without Brooke. But I must say B Davis is the best ex after all I put her through she came to comfort me after I started to date Lucas, she put aside her feelings to find me, to remember me and tell me I'm not alone and nobody is leaving me even her. Maybe not like before but she'll be there for me. We were broken, bleeding and still holding on.

Finding out about her and Nathan killed me. I never thought anything could hurt more than her dating Lucas, or her cutting me out but this did. Not because of some great secret love for Nate but because it turned US into a lie. We were supposed to be bff's...I know I let her have Lucas the boy I loved but this...She betrayed me, she made me feel like a whore for kissing the boyfriend she went after knowing I wanted him. She ended 10 years of friendship over me trying to be honest with her. She turned on me, made others choose between us, left me with no one to turn to but Lucas when I was attacked not only by her but my supposed brother, why because I had feelings for her then boyfriend, because I was honest. I would have never acted on those feelings if they had stayed together, if she still truly wanted him. She slept with mine on an off moment, she made me feel like the dirt on her shoe at times, she left me alone without my best friend, the one person who was never supposed to leave me, she made me live without her. For what? Something I hadn't even done. She cut me out and she had slept with Nathan. I needed her, my best friend to hold me while I cried and she wasn't there because she was too busy looking for a place to stick the knife. Well it finally found its mark...my heart. I literally felt my soul being ripped out of me. She was never supposed to hurt me like this. Lucas may be my love but Brooke, she was my soul mate and she broke me I shattered into nothingness. She got her revenge in advance for my betrayal we were never friends.

Lucas told me to be the bigger person, I didn't want to be and I wasn't going to be the "bigger person". I wanted to hurt her back. It wasn't Lucas that made me rethink, it was asshole number one my ex boyfriend. The one that slept with my best ex friend. He made me realize something I didn't want to throw Brooke away. If she called me up crying I would still want to go to her, I would want to punch the person that made her cry, after all she is my Brooke. I wanted her to know that she could call me but that being said I wasn't ready to be nice...I needed to let her know that I was still hurt angry and very much so in bitch mode. So I gave her the dress back, with some minor artistic improvements that I knew she would approve of and better yet understand. She gets me in a way no one else does or ever will. She is the best ex friend to have and later that night she proved it.

This time she was there for me when psycho Derek made an appearance. We took him without Lucas and in doing that we got ourselves back; I hate to owe that psycho anything but without that night it would have taken longer for us to find our way back to each other. I still can't believe that we went to prom like that still bruised and bloody, she won Prom Queen though. And she is not the best ex anymore she is just the best. After all she is my Brooke Davis.

(with those words Peyton turned off her web cam and smiled.)

Note: I made a few changes I thought were needed hope you still enjoy.


	2. Brooke

The Best Ex

Disclaimer: I do not own the show or characters. I own nothing. Oh yeah and I am a Leyton fan you've been warned.

Brooke

She talks in her sleep you know, most people don't know that because for her to sleep around you she has to trust you. And very few people earn that trust from P. Sawyer, I was one of the proud few. I broke that trust not once but twice… she knows about one but not the other. It's funny in a not so funny way but the first time was with Lucas just like her first time breaking my trust. She doesn't see it that way, she doesn't think that she had a claim on him but she did. I saw the way she looked at him and the way she acted, I knew her, I was her best friend of course I knew. I couldn't help myself he was the first guy that treated me as though I was more than a body. I couldn't give that up.

I knew when I walked into that room with them what had just happened, I heard what she said…I knew how she felt, I knew he was hers and I knew that I should walk away, I also knew she would walk away. I let her walk away pretending that I didn't just break the heart I swore I would help her protect. Soon I was able to pretend too. I pretended that we could all be friends, that I didn't see the looks, that I didn't hurt her.

I was willing to hurt her for Lucas, he made me feel like a better person or rather he helped me show the world that I was more. With him I was able to drop the act, the party girl was fun and a part of who I was but it wasn't the whole person. Under the party girl was a person that only Peyton was able to see, at least before him. After him that part of me was allowed to shine. He would say that I grew as a person but I didn't. Peyton would say that he just helped me uncover myself and she would be right.

But I got off the subject, I was talking about pretending that friendship was the only thing between those two. Yeah, I got out of that denial river. How you may ask. By checking on my boyfriend. I'm not sure what hurt more seeing them together or seeing them together on his computer. You see that meant he still watched her (stalker).

I felt sick, physically ill. It hurt so much I wanted to throw up. You know the worst part of it was all of a sudden I knew how she felt watching us together. I hated her for that, I hated her for making me feel bad when she was the one stealing MY boyfriend. I hated her for making me realize what I had done to us. I hated Lucas for being the boy that came between us. We were Best Friends Forever and he broke us. I hated myself for letting him. In short I hated all of us and that hurt. So, I took it out on them. Mainly I took it out on the person that meant the most to me, Peyton.

Believe it or not we fixed our friendship. That's who we are, no matter what, we are pulled to each other. She covered her feelings again for me and I started dating Lucas again after making him pay a bit.

But again I break off, I was saying that I betrayed her twice. Most people would think that I meant Nathan but that's not it. She was shot … I was there with her and I ran without her. I never even looked back till I got out I just assumed she was right there with me. After all she's my P. Sawyer I'm not allowed to lose her. It wasn't me who went back in after her though. No, it was my boyfriend of that time. You wanna take a guess who it was. That's right Lucas, my Lucas, her Lucas. Again knowing how they felt,

even though they buried it, I took him. But it was him, he was always playing her white knight, not mine.

It was after he saved her that I decided that I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't play their game. As I told her, "the boy I love protected the girl I love and that's the girl he loves too." She denied it, I knew she would, she was still in that river pretending she wanted Jake. Lying to herself and I let her. I moved in with her everyone knows that and this is where I betrayed her. Remember she talks in her sleep, I've heard it many nights she says the one thing I love and loathe hearing… "I love you…Lucas." I never told her she said it. That was my second betrayal, letting her lie to herself. I loved hearing it though because it meant I was right and I still knew her better than anyone else including herself. On the other hand I loathed it because it meant my world was going to fall apart as soon as she realized the truth. I would lose her and Lucas because I wouldn't be able to help lashing out. He was the one thing that can come between us, I loved the way he made me feel and she loved him. When it all came out I would lose them both.

I still don't know what happen with her and Jake but when she came back, I knew my world was going to shatter and it did. I tried to play it off saying you mean as a friend I tried to give her an out, you care for him as a friend. She wasn't going to do that though, what made it worse was the next day when she said she didn't want him, she wasn't going to go after him because of me. How dare she be noble, how dare she make me remember that I did go after him, that I did steal him. How dare she make me realize I was throwing away our friendship for a boy I wasn't in love with, I just loved the way he made me feel. I also knew as long as I had him I could keep her. A part of me knew that if they got together then Peyton wouldn't need me anymore. Not like she did before, she would have new person to be her hero and to hold her.

So in classic Brooke fashion I lashed out at Peyton, broke up with broody and partied with Rachael. God I was so mean to her, I made fun of her pain, the deaths of her moms, one of whom I knew and loved, I cried with her. I couldn't control it my mouth spoke and I was horrified by the words pouring out. I watched her tear up at times and I wanted to take it back and hold her but I couldn't. When her so called brother attacked her I couldn't bring myself to go see her because I let her down. Again.

I should have been there; I should have been the one helping her but I was too busy being a bitch to notice how psycho-psycho boy was. It was my fault you see, if I hadn't been fighting with her then I would have been with her. While Lucas was with the cops checking in on things I would have been with her because I wouldn't have wanted her to be alone. Psycho boy wouldn't have been able to hurt her, mentally or physically. So how could I check up on her when her wounds were my fault?

So I hid from my guilt and lashed out more. She was the one that gave me the opening to be friends again, or rather Lucas did with his idiotic "Oh." What an ass. The girl of his dreams confesses to being in love with in and he says "oh." Which while funny as hell was extremely sad because I know Peyton and that had to hurt her so much it's such a non-reaction any real reaction would have been better than "Oh". Through her hurt she tells me that I'm the one he wants by his side (again idiot). That's all I could think 'he is so stupidly idiotic'. I asked her why she would tell me that, rather than calling him a stupid idiotic ass like I wanted. After all I've spent so much time being a bitch to her and here she is trying to give me the guy again. It didn't make me mad this time though, it reminded me why I love this girl; she's a bitch with a heart of gold at least when it comes to me. She is the best ex a girl could have. Then, she told me why, "Because I would have given anything to hear him say it was me." That was when I decided to pull Lucas' head out of his rectum.

Well needless to say it worked and we were free to work on our friendship though I wasn't quiet ready to try full force again. Just as I was ready to tell P. Sawyer that all was forgiven she found out about Nathan and myself. Yeah, she took it a lot harder than I ever thought she would. I just didn't understand until she was yelling at me about how I cut her out when she needed me the most for being honest with me. When she said I was dead to her, I can't describe how much that hurt. It was a radiating pain that echoed through out my whole body. There was not a single cell that didn't feel that phrase as it hit. Have you ever had a broken bone? Well that pain cannot even hope to touch the pain of a broken heart, I swear mine broke with just those words.

Did I mention the bitch stole my prom dress? Yep, when she sent it back I was so mad. Why? Because she was giving me my dress back, I was really dead to her if she wasn't striking at me. Then at prom I saw it… WHORE was written across my dress in a paint that only showed up in black light. She cared I was so happy. I wanted to talk to her so I tried to find her, Lucas said she wasn't coming. Ass. Yes that is the word that comes to mind with Lucas these days. Where is the boy that knew my P. Sawyer so well it scared me? I was afraid for my spot in Peyton's life because of this ass who didn't even realize Peyton would not skip Prom.

So I had to hunt her down and save her from psycho boy myself. Okay so there was some mutual saving going on but the thing is we didn't need Lucas we saved each other and our friendship. Peyton Sawyer is the best ex a girl could have but I'm happy knowing the there is no ex involved except for my ex ass (Lucas). And he is not coming between us ever again. If he tries I feed him to psycho boy myself.

I hope Lucas knows she talks in her sleep.

I'm thinking of doing it though the eyes of couple other people what you all of you think should I continue?


End file.
